And So There Was Two

Well Well Well.... The first week of two tablets has came and went and what's the prognosis?
This one is a fkning doozy. I mean I don't want to scare the readers who are reading this for their own tapering process and remember EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT but this last round, for me, it hasn't been easy. Honestly, I have been hurting. BUT we figured this was going to happen at some point and I think a couple of blogs back I said maybe when I am down to two pills I will feel it, and I was right.

So the fingers just continue to hurt and whenever I really use my hands like cooking or dishes or whatever, they will swell and just ache.  But the other night my pain was so bad between my back, my ankles, and my knees that it literally woke me up from my sleep and I had to put the heating pad on for like two hours.  Today has been an interesting one.  I woke up with sciatic pain. Like a constant shooting pain in the middle of my ass and it hurts so much to walk.  A five minute walk to my office from the bus turned in to almost 20 and I wish I was exaggerating. I did bring my heating pad with me and luckily my coworkers get it.  My usual daily meeting that would happen in the conference room took place in my office as I kept the heating pad warming the sciatic nerve. A couple hours of swamp ass later, I feel a bit better.  Limping less.

I wanted to quickly chat about memory because it's funny how we forget things like particular moments in life but quickly remember them by a song or perhaps a certain smell.  I sometimes forget what is was like prior to being on my meds, I know I mentioned how I don't remember having average health but I also don't remember being "sickish" without any medicine.  I was telling my fiance that memories keep coming back to me like being on a bus to get into work and not being able to open my water bottle. Sometimes I'd snack on the bus in the morning and I would be dying of thirst not because I didn't have any water, but because I was so embarrassed to ask someone to open the water for me.  I'd run in and have my coworker Lenny turn the cap of the Poland Spring for me. Luckily I can still open my bottles myself but it isn't as easy as it once was.  Even turning a door handle or buttoning my pants becomes a bit harder at times.  One day last week I had trouble doing my eyeliner because it requires a certain bend of my finger and a flick of the wrist to perfect my cat eye.  Lord please, I'll take an achy ankle or two as long as you leave my eyeliner alone.  I can take a limp - what I CAN'T take is the look of a wobbly eyeliner. Haha all jokes. I kid I kid. (not really) 

So okay, this week hasn't been the BEST but whatever I have been doing pretty damn good thus far and I can't have it all. I should have bad days and I am sure I will continue to have some not so great days.  The good thing is I am one step closer to being completely off.  Hopefully my doctor will prescribe me a muscle relaxer or something to help me get through the real pain days and I should be taking some blood work this week.  Let's see how it all goes..

By next week, I should be METHOTREXATE FREE !!! Can't Friggen Believe It! Till then XOXO!