8:49 AM on beautiful, sunny, warm Thursday in May and feeling great!
I waited to write on the first week or so for the 8 pill taper just because I know that sometimes if I miss my pills during the week, I really won't start to feel the pain till that Friday perhaps. I didn't want to jump the gun and write about how I feel great unless I knew that my body isn't trying to slow play me and I really do feel great. But I do! I mean, I feel no different than the 10 pills I was taking.
Last Monday night I actually emailed my doctor in the morning to make sure I should take 8 in one shot. He got back to me (I thank god for a doctor who answers his OWN emails - this is NOT the norm) and he said take all 8 on Tuesday. Now its my SECOND week, again I took 8 pills two days ago and I feel good. I mean a little tightness on my left wrist but that's baby pain compared. So all in all the tapering is going good. I feel now it may not really get "rough" till I am in possibly lower numbers like 4-2 tablets left. I assume next week I will either go for blood or go on to 6 pills since I am feeling okay. I will reach out to the doctor next week and see what the next steps are. I also do hope that the prenatal pill I am taking gives me a little boost as well. Not sure if you or whomever you know is on Methotrexate and experiences hair loss or nail weakness but I do and I truly think I am losing less hair lately. Perhaps the prenatal is helping me out there. I always took a daily folic acid but maybe the extra bit in the prenatal vitamin is helping too.
I must say, I am grateful that I began this during the summer months. I do feel like the weather helps - not even so much because the rain or dampness causes inflammation but more so because the nicer weather puts me in a better mood. Spring is my favorite season and best of all, its BBQ time. That means less stress on what to cook, less cleaning, and less work for me altogether since he will be maintaining the grill. I am sure the fatigue will be a bit worse by June/July and it will be nice to just be in charge of the side dishes!
As much as I like to keep this blog positive I do want to keep this blog real. Yes I am trying my best to keep it optimistic. I know I am going to be okay because I have to be okay but I do get upset. I do cry. I am frustrated at times. Last night I had a 10 minute mini crying session of why things are hard for me. Or rather, why I feel nothing is ever "easy" for me. But 10 minutes is all I will really give myself to wallow in self pity. Yes, for me a lot of various things in my life haven't worked out as I had hoped and planned. Yes, I don't have the average journey of another woman who can get pregnant easily but I am not alone. Unfortunately there are a lot of women who have to plan pregnancy as oppose to just "trying". And that's okay. I have to remember with whatever issues I have, someone else out there is much worse and I am lucky and blessed in many other ways. There will be times you will lose sight of that and I hope that you have the strength and the strength of loved ones around you to guide you back to seeing the brighter side of things. Nothing is forever and life is made up of peaks and valleys and we all get through it, one day at a time.
Until next week!
xoxo
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