And So There Was Two

Well Well Well.... The first week of two tablets has came and went and what's the prognosis?
This one is a fkning doozy. I mean I don't want to scare the readers who are reading this for their own tapering process and remember EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT but this last round, for me, it hasn't been easy. Honestly, I have been hurting. BUT we figured this was going to happen at some point and I think a couple of blogs back I said maybe when I am down to two pills I will feel it, and I was right.

So the fingers just continue to hurt and whenever I really use my hands like cooking or dishes or whatever, they will swell and just ache.  But the other night my pain was so bad between my back, my ankles, and my knees that it literally woke me up from my sleep and I had to put the heating pad on for like two hours.  Today has been an interesting one.  I woke up with sciatic pain. Like a constant shooting pain in the middle of my ass and it hurts so much to walk.  A five minute walk to my office from the bus turned in to almost 20 and I wish I was exaggerating. I did bring my heating pad with me and luckily my coworkers get it.  My usual daily meeting that would happen in the conference room took place in my office as I kept the heating pad warming the sciatic nerve. A couple hours of swamp ass later, I feel a bit better.  Limping less.

I wanted to quickly chat about memory because it's funny how we forget things like particular moments in life but quickly remember them by a song or perhaps a certain smell.  I sometimes forget what is was like prior to being on my meds, I know I mentioned how I don't remember having average health but I also don't remember being "sickish" without any medicine.  I was telling my fiance that memories keep coming back to me like being on a bus to get into work and not being able to open my water bottle. Sometimes I'd snack on the bus in the morning and I would be dying of thirst not because I didn't have any water, but because I was so embarrassed to ask someone to open the water for me.  I'd run in and have my coworker Lenny turn the cap of the Poland Spring for me. Luckily I can still open my bottles myself but it isn't as easy as it once was.  Even turning a door handle or buttoning my pants becomes a bit harder at times.  One day last week I had trouble doing my eyeliner because it requires a certain bend of my finger and a flick of the wrist to perfect my cat eye.  Lord please, I'll take an achy ankle or two as long as you leave my eyeliner alone.  I can take a limp - what I CAN'T take is the look of a wobbly eyeliner. Haha all jokes. I kid I kid. (not really) 

So okay, this week hasn't been the BEST but whatever I have been doing pretty damn good thus far and I can't have it all. I should have bad days and I am sure I will continue to have some not so great days.  The good thing is I am one step closer to being completely off.  Hopefully my doctor will prescribe me a muscle relaxer or something to help me get through the real pain days and I should be taking some blood work this week.  Let's see how it all goes..

By next week, I should be METHOTREXATE FREE !!! Can't Friggen Believe It! Till then XOXO!

Peaks and Valleys

It has been TWO weeks since my last post and a LOT has happened. Well maybe not a whole lot but some significant changes.

One - I took my first round of blood last week.. it has been on my mind since the minute I walked out of Quest Diagnostic.
Two - I have been a bit achy.. my fingers the most and the usual wrists and ankles for sure but my hands will throb and I feel like I can't really make a full fist.  It does come and go and honestly I can take this pain with the help of an anti-inflammatory or Tramadol if needed.
Three - I finally got my results back today.  And they look GREAT to me! I am still waiting to talk to my doctor, I am sure I will hear from him tonight via email however my Creatine Kinase (what can show inflammation) has risen a bit from 21U/L to 24 U/L - the norm is 29-143.  Obviously I'd want to be mid range but honestly, I am just happy to be somewhat closer to NORMAL numbers.  The shocker of all shockers was my WBC.  Since tapering off my meds they completely shot up.  I was once at 2.0 thous/mcL, my last read was 2.6 and weeks later since getting to 6 tablets a week - I am at 3.4! The normal range is 3.8-10.8 so I am SO HAPPY.  My liver levels look great and my C3 and C4 are all in range.  ALL IS WELL.  My doctor actually emailed me: "Hello Jacki--your labs were good--almost entirely normal."  Could you believe it?! ALMOST ENTIRELY NORMAL! Ugh music to my ears ❤

I titled this blog Peaks and Valleys for a reason.  When I was younger I had read a book my father picked up for me titled Peaks and Valleys.  It basically discussed the ups and downs of life and it really did put things into perspective for me.  Life isn't always great and shit happens and sometimes you are in the Valley.  Who knows how long you'll be there.. hopefully not long but it's okay because eventually you will be in the Peak again! This week has been a good week so far.  My girlfriends threw me a beautiful surprise bridal shower two days ago.  Yesterday, my fiance had his last successful operation on his leg which went really good, god willing and today I got the best blood results! I hope this Peak remains a bit longer since my 32nd birthday is 4 days a way! KNOCK ON WOOD!  Lets keep the Peak rollin!

I have one more week taking the 4 tablets and next Tuesday is the doozy. Going to just TWO pills till we stop ALTOGETHER.  I feel like it's so wild but I am so excited to just be off of it completely.  I found a new yoga place by my house and this yoga class is a bit longer but it was so awesome I am going to keep trying to make it there every Sunday and just keep this momentum going.  I decided to spend the extra money in massages and do things that make me happy, like booking a trip or buying that pair of shoes I wanted. I of course want to be physically healthier but mentally healthier too and every small change will help me get there.  I just know it.  Till next week!! XOXO